My parents (both cancer). A favourite uncle (heart attack). Two marriages and other relationships (various). Nina, with whom I was closer than my mother (old age). Three sons (divorce/separation). Why did these and other losses affect me so much less than the loss of Darling? Why am I weeping more for an elderly, (frankly) smelly, incontinent dog than I ever did for my best friend, John (cancer), who grew up two streets away from me and from whom I had no secrets?